AAP: Securing Recommendations

REQUESTING

When it comes to requesting a recommendation it is wise to increase your probability of a yes. Imagine you are in the grocery store and you are debating between purchasing an organic bunch of kale from a local farm or an organic bunch of kale from a farm in another state. A stranger sees you contemplating and offers assistance which leads to an extended positive conversation about regulations, farming, and healthy choices. If you had a second encounter with this person you would not propose marriage.

Apply this thinking when asking for recommendations. The people you seek to request a recommendation from should be familiar with you in a particular way. This person should be comfortable to discuss and express your qualities, skills, and/or expertise to the person who will benefit from the additional information.

It is requested that you predetermine the people in your life with whom you have multiple interactions and who have professionally seen you effectively and honestly evaluate your qualities, skills, and/or expertise.

SOME TIPS IN REQUESTING ARE:

1. Ask people in advance if they need the recommendation. As you build rapport, inquire if they would be interested in being a reference or providing a recommendation.
   
2. Stay in contact with those on your list of possible recommenders. Provide quarterly or semi-annual updates.
   
3. When requesting the recommendation, be clear. Inform the person about the recommendations, who will receive them, and the nature of your responsibilities/ how you will be evaluated. Remember to ask if the person is willing/able to provide it.
   
4. Provide a time frame for the recommendation and the address or link of how to submit it.
   
5. Show appreciation of the person’s time, thank them in advance, and provide updated information.

WHEN SOMEONE DECLINES

If the person you ask declines to provide a recommendation, understand there can be several reasons.

a. The person may not have the time.
b. The person may feel they need to learn to know you well enough in a contextual manner.
c. The person may limit the amount of recommendations they provide.
d. The person may be unable to provide an honest, strong recommendation based on their evaluation of you and may choose to decline.

Refrain from internalizing the decline as a reflection of your worth. Instead, recognize that everyone you ask will not agree, and there are various reasons.

NEXT STEPS TO MOVE FORWARD

Always thank the person for their response (accepted/declined). Inquire if there is anything else they require. Declined: Inquire if they can provide feedback on how you can further develop.